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| The New York Optimist |
"Sexting and the Celly" Since so many people today are communicating by text messages, even voice mail messaging is
becoming obsolete!
In a world where there are now a million ways to be reached, most do not want to be found. Ironic isn't it.
I recently read another article, about how the younger society, say 15-20 year olds, are almost expressly communicating
via the "text." While it is a lot of fun to do and is a quick, almost "secret" way of talking with someone, i think there are
warnings to be issued.
Especially in this age group, where teenagers are already more vulnerable to peer pressure and outside factors, there is a
concern that young men and women are talking "sext"..That is..using the text messages to talk about and to send sexual
messages to one another.
If this is the latest version of "safe sex" so be it, as long as people can control their behaviors. However, if an
impressionable teen is receiving regular messages with sexual overtones, from someone they know only casually, that in
turn can lead to chance and dangerous meetings. Why?
We all know about text messaging by now. The psychology of human behavior is not as complicated as many would make
it out to be. While there are many behavioral variables brought about by different ages, cultures, genders and so on, it is
the common human thrill of getting private messages and being able to communicate in turn, without talking, which can
create both a safe haven OR a venue for dangerous outcomes. Again, why?
Many teens feel they cannot talk to their parents and turn to their friends, to share brief lines about their statuses or their
feelings. That is generally harmless but the soundless form that a text message takes on can mean different things to
people when it comes to using those text messages for sexual or relational reasons.
There is still NOTHING which can replace communicating in person. The sharing of a hug, a real emotion, CANNOT be
replaced by the "smiley icon." So why then, is it still safer for teens to speak in person than via text? Because so much
can still be misunderstood and improperly communicated via screen and non verbal text. Taking that theory to the next
level, and now you have even slightly mistaken messages, which are sexual in nature. The two teens meet (or people of
any age) and he thought that since she wrote in her text, "you are hot, cant wait to see you!"- wink, he "understood" that
as meaning "she thinks im hot, so she wants me big time." " we are going to have sex!"
He makes a physical move, she backs off, he gets pissed off. He thinks he is getting sex ,she just wanted to
"communicate" her like and thoughts that he is good looking. All of a sudden he doesn't look so good anymore, as he
becomes physically aggressive and she has to get away from him. This is a set-up for domestic violence..Most likely if
they have not yet met in person, she is not familiar with the physical surroundings while with this "sext" friend. No one
really knew about him or that these two have talked ,because again the whole concept of teens texting, revolves around the
feeling of being "secretive. " Therefore why would she tell anyone about him? Can you see where the danger lies?
Now, text messaging can be equally HARMLESS and actually HELPFUL, depending on who is sending and receiving the
messages and what the origin of their relationships are.. It is great for business follow up, quick family messages and yes
for romantic interludes too. As long as the two people are mature and clear about their relationship.
Too much texting or "sexting" is not a good thing for those who have never met or who have only briefly met before. It
kills the spontaneity that barely exists today and can create disturbances in the minds of those most vulnerable. Namely
teenagers, who are of the age to cognitively separate fantasy from reality, will have a harder time doing so when their text
words becomes their real thoughts. It takes away from a certain level of creativity. Some would argue that text messaging
is a healthy form of communication because it is so common and "fun."
And yes, in this world of craziness, greed and negativity, we need more fun and simplicity. Texting/sexting is fun.
However, there is still "nothing like the real thing baby"- if you know what I mean,..and amongst consenting ADULTS...
One more thing, none of the above statements are to take away from teens who are our next generation and I know how
hard it is for teens to have self control with so much around them and so many ways to run wild, However, you will have
plenty of time for that.. Be a kid, enjoy teen hood, but be safe! And "tame the text/sext."
Ellie: Travelwriteres@aol.com
becoming obsolete!
In a world where there are now a million ways to be reached, most do not want to be found. Ironic isn't it.
I recently read another article, about how the younger society, say 15-20 year olds, are almost expressly communicating
via the "text." While it is a lot of fun to do and is a quick, almost "secret" way of talking with someone, i think there are
warnings to be issued.
Especially in this age group, where teenagers are already more vulnerable to peer pressure and outside factors, there is a
concern that young men and women are talking "sext"..That is..using the text messages to talk about and to send sexual
messages to one another.
If this is the latest version of "safe sex" so be it, as long as people can control their behaviors. However, if an
impressionable teen is receiving regular messages with sexual overtones, from someone they know only casually, that in
turn can lead to chance and dangerous meetings. Why?
We all know about text messaging by now. The psychology of human behavior is not as complicated as many would make
it out to be. While there are many behavioral variables brought about by different ages, cultures, genders and so on, it is
the common human thrill of getting private messages and being able to communicate in turn, without talking, which can
create both a safe haven OR a venue for dangerous outcomes. Again, why?
Many teens feel they cannot talk to their parents and turn to their friends, to share brief lines about their statuses or their
feelings. That is generally harmless but the soundless form that a text message takes on can mean different things to
people when it comes to using those text messages for sexual or relational reasons.
There is still NOTHING which can replace communicating in person. The sharing of a hug, a real emotion, CANNOT be
replaced by the "smiley icon." So why then, is it still safer for teens to speak in person than via text? Because so much
can still be misunderstood and improperly communicated via screen and non verbal text. Taking that theory to the next
level, and now you have even slightly mistaken messages, which are sexual in nature. The two teens meet (or people of
any age) and he thought that since she wrote in her text, "you are hot, cant wait to see you!"- wink, he "understood" that
as meaning "she thinks im hot, so she wants me big time." " we are going to have sex!"
He makes a physical move, she backs off, he gets pissed off. He thinks he is getting sex ,she just wanted to
"communicate" her like and thoughts that he is good looking. All of a sudden he doesn't look so good anymore, as he
becomes physically aggressive and she has to get away from him. This is a set-up for domestic violence..Most likely if
they have not yet met in person, she is not familiar with the physical surroundings while with this "sext" friend. No one
really knew about him or that these two have talked ,because again the whole concept of teens texting, revolves around the
feeling of being "secretive. " Therefore why would she tell anyone about him? Can you see where the danger lies?
Now, text messaging can be equally HARMLESS and actually HELPFUL, depending on who is sending and receiving the
messages and what the origin of their relationships are.. It is great for business follow up, quick family messages and yes
for romantic interludes too. As long as the two people are mature and clear about their relationship.
Too much texting or "sexting" is not a good thing for those who have never met or who have only briefly met before. It
kills the spontaneity that barely exists today and can create disturbances in the minds of those most vulnerable. Namely
teenagers, who are of the age to cognitively separate fantasy from reality, will have a harder time doing so when their text
words becomes their real thoughts. It takes away from a certain level of creativity. Some would argue that text messaging
is a healthy form of communication because it is so common and "fun."
And yes, in this world of craziness, greed and negativity, we need more fun and simplicity. Texting/sexting is fun.
However, there is still "nothing like the real thing baby"- if you know what I mean,..and amongst consenting ADULTS...
One more thing, none of the above statements are to take away from teens who are our next generation and I know how
hard it is for teens to have self control with so much around them and so many ways to run wild, However, you will have
plenty of time for that.. Be a kid, enjoy teen hood, but be safe! And "tame the text/sext."
Ellie: Travelwriteres@aol.com
Ellie Robyns: "Sexting and the Celly"
