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Just Do You
By: Nina Mistier
There is only one person you can control and that is you. We cannot change others, we cannot force them to see our points of view or control
how they respond to life. Every person responds to life differently because each person has had different life experiences that led to this point.
How many times have you judged what another person did? Can you recall thinking “I would never do that!” We tend to think others think the way
we do, but they don’t.
We are all the same, yet different. Our needs for food, shelter, clothing, love and companionship are the same, yet our tactics for getting them,
how much we need of them and the interaction in our relationships is individual. We cannot judge others for being different than we are. We can
share in this journey, accept them and appreciate what they have to teach us or not. We must allow people to be who they are and we must be
who we are. Do you know who you are? Do you pay attention to everything you do and say as you do other people? Why not bring that focus
inside and work on yourself, rather than ignoring you and trying to judge and change everyone else out there. Your happiness begins with you,
One way to bring your focus inside is to listen to your breathing. It sounds so simple and yet it is a very powerful tool to begin paying attention to
and getting to understand how you function. Begin anytime, while walking or sitting, when you awaken in the morning or as you are ready to go to
sleep. Don’t feel the need to change anything or judge yourself, just notice. Do you breathe through your nose or through your mouth? Is your
breath shallow in your chest or deep in your belly? Is your breath smooth and connected as you inhale and exhale or is it choppy?
The way we breathe can affect our nervous system and our ability to relax and focus. Inhaling and exhaling through the nose is the proper way to
breathe because of the filtering system in our noses. As you notice your breath, try to make the breath a little longer and deeper. Try to inhale
into your belly, filling your ribcage and then your chest. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly let the breath leave your body just as it
entered. If you like, begin to count; inhale to a count of four and work toward exhaling to a count of eight. If you practice this breathing five to
seven times you will find you are more present. Your mind will be clearer and you may feel more relaxed.
People can change only if they want to, not because you want them to. With all the challenges we face in our relationships remember to be
grateful for the people in your life, because they are your teachers. They help you to see how you respond to life and you get to choose what you
would like to change about you. Be your best you and life will respond to that. By setting a positive example for those around you, you can only
spark positive change in them, as well. We learn from each other whether the interaction is good or bad. Remaining in a constant state of
frustration will only bring more frustration. Change one thing and other things will change. Be the change you wish to see.
Nina Mistier is a Holistic Counselor, College Instructor, Yoga Instructor, Lecturer and Freelance Writer who has practiced in New York for twenty
years. Nina holds an advanced degree in Counseling Supervision, an MS in Counseling Psychology, a BS in Psychology and is a certified Yoga
Instructor with the Himalayan Institute. Nina practices nutritional healing, positive and thought field psychology, Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT)
and Ayurveda. Nina studied with Albert Elis, creator of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) and Dr. John Gray, PhD. Nina also created
the first four credit course for the State University of NY including Yoga, Psychology and Nutrition which has had tremendous