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By: Nina Mistier
There are so many things in life which we have no control over and that can sometimes get to the core of who we are and rattle us. A
diagnosis of a medical condition given to you or someone you love, a partner in a relationship who is irrational and out of control, a
move, a divorce, losing a job, a home or loss of a loved one.
These are some of the things that happen in life. The question is “how do we deal with them if they come our way?” The options are to
become filled with anxiety and feel yourself spiraling out of control which only makes things worst or to maintain control of the only thing
you always have control over.
That is you.
We cannot for the most part control the outside world, circumstances or other people, but we can control ourselves and our reactions
to what happens to us. Every single day is an opportunity to train yourself to be a happy, loving person. Our automatic responses to life
are just habits; not life sentences. We can change our responses to situations by first paying attention to ourselves. We tend to get
caught up in the outside stuff and feel helpless, but if you are present in each moment you will find you are capable of handling life a lot
better than you thought you could.
When you feel out of control, anxiety tends to show up. Anxiety keeps you in your head, thinking, worrying, and not sleeping. Your
stress hormones go into overdrive and your health can become compromised. Counter that immediately by grounding yourself and
being present with physical activity. Yoga, walking, biking, meditation, even stretching all brings you out of your head and down to the
ground. When you are grounded and present you can logically assess the situation and make a plan. You may not figure it all out right
away, but if you have a next step each step will unfold as you follow the path you are creating to fix the problem.
One way to begin changing a bad habit is to notice your reaction to information, both good and bad. Notice the thoughts and feelings
that come to you. Don’t try to change anything yet, just pay attention to get to know how you operate. Once you see how you respond to
life you can make adjustments. Writing is a fast and very helpful way to create change. Write the outcome you wish to see and feel it.
Believe even for a few moments each day that it is true.
When you write with a pen or pencil, not on the computer, there is a connection to the neuronal exchange in your brain. This is called
plasticity; the brain is well able to change the programming to create new and better habits. The brain recognizes what you are writing
as information to assimilate into the being.
If you write the same thing every day for 21-33 days you are programming this information into the system creating new and better
habits. Don’t forget the 21-33 day rule, as well. If you practice something for 21-33 days every day it will become a habit for you.
Change is very possible if you are willing to do the work. Anything is possible and miracles occur every day.
Fear is a powerful emotion and it can be paralyzing if you let it. The expression “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” is true for the
most part. The important thing to remember is to always use your logical mind. That part of you is your friend, your higher
consciousness, the greater forces in the universe that will give you information to ground you and help you handle anything. Also,
remember the 3 second rule to counter an anxiety attack. Your logical mind can talk you out of a panic attack because of your
awareness of it.
Anxiety is illogical, out of control taking over your physical functions. If you begin to feel your heart racing, sweating, dizziness or any of
the physical symptoms tell yourself you are not going to have a panic attack and take some deep breaths into your lower abdomen
filling your rib cage and chest. Hold the breath and slowly exhale. As you do this you will come out of your head and into your body. You
have just tackled anxiety and you are now stronger and more in control. If you are home or at the office, lean against the wall and allow
your head to hang down toward your toes and breathe. This will calm the parasympathetic nervous system and calm anxiety, as well.
Remember, if you live life one moment at a time and pay attention to your life, it will be great
and completely in your control.
Nina Mistier is a Counselor that teaches and practices psychology, yoga and nutrition in New York for twenty years. Nina can be
reached for counseling, yoga and nutritional guidance at 917-309-0179.
Leave a message to make an appointment.