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| The New York Optimist |
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“Four Keys To Happiness”
By: Nina Mistier
Why do we make life more complicated than it need be? Keep things simple; say what you have to say tactfully, do
something that makes you happy today, while fulfilling your responsibilities, don’t take things so personally and listen to
the voice inside. These are a few ways to keep life simple and stay in your happy place more often than not. The first
thing is to respect your feelings and the little voice inside. You always have the answers to all your questions, the only
problem is to learn to trust yourself. The more respect you give that little voice, the stronger it becomes. Trust me on
this one!!! The next thing is to be here today, today is the only real day, everything else is electrical synapses in your
brain flashing images of short and long term memories, fears and fantasies, both good and bad from the past and about
the future. You don’t have to pay attention to these thoughts; just acknowledge them and push them away with a
replacement happy thought. Programming your mind is like programming your computer; spam always pops up, but
you don’t have to accept them all, click cancel. Today is the only day you have any control of so don’t throw it away
each and every day by festering over the past and worrying about the future. All living creatures are born with the stress
response; the fight or flight syndrome when we are in danger, feel fear or are confronted with a physical or verbal
battle. Your way of dealing with life is not something you chose, but rather who you became by default. You emulate
what you saw your parents and family do as children and it became the only thing you knew. The problem is that your
now habitual way of dealing with life is often not in your best interest.
You are an adult now so take a look at yourself and decide how you want this to play out. Look at the parts of your
personality you love; encourage growth in those areas. Then look at the parts of yourself you might like to change. You
can certainly change aspects of yourself if you really want to. Some people have anger issues, some have a victim
mentally and others avoid. That does not get the desired result and is self-defeating. These habits can steal your
happiness, but if you want to change something, first take notice of it. Humans tend to get comfortable with their
discomfort. In order to be happy and change something, notice your defense mechanisms; how do you deal with
negative interactions, not feeling loved or appreciated or people being nasty to you? We are very egocentric as a species
because we tend to think everyone thinks the way we do. The fact is that one situation can present as many perceptions
as there are people. It is easy when everyone sees things the same way, but that is not realistic. Learning how to
effectively communicate is a big part of being an adult. It is very important to tell others what is going on inside you,
don’t keep things bottled up until there is no more room and you explode! If you just say what you have to say, nicely
then you are done with it and there is room inside for more. Also, the other person learned something about you they
may not have known. In relationships we expect our partner to show us love the way we show them love. Some people
feel loved when they hear the words I love you, some need gifts to feel loved and others need to feel it with hugs and
cuddling. What if one person needs to hear it and the other is a gift giver? Both people may love each other, but neither
will feel it to the extent they wish. This is why communication is so important. We cannot read each other’s minds and
it is foolish to think he/she should know what it takes to make me happy. We should not take things so personally; each
of us is having a very different experience every day, taking with us all that has happened since we were born. Our
experiences are all different, therefore, our thoughts are different and our perception of situations is different. We tend
to take things personally, when generally things have nothing to do with us. Keep it simple; say what you have to say,
enjoy today, don’t take things so personally and most important is to trust your inner voice.
Nina Mistier is a Holistic Counselor, Yoga Instructor, College Instructor and mother who holds a Master of Science degree in
Counseling Supervision, Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Yoga Certification, studies Energy Psychology, Positive Psychology,
Nutritional Studies and Holistic Healing.
By: Nina Mistier
Why do we make life more complicated than it need be? Keep things simple; say what you have to say tactfully, do
something that makes you happy today, while fulfilling your responsibilities, don’t take things so personally and listen to
the voice inside. These are a few ways to keep life simple and stay in your happy place more often than not. The first
thing is to respect your feelings and the little voice inside. You always have the answers to all your questions, the only
problem is to learn to trust yourself. The more respect you give that little voice, the stronger it becomes. Trust me on
this one!!! The next thing is to be here today, today is the only real day, everything else is electrical synapses in your
brain flashing images of short and long term memories, fears and fantasies, both good and bad from the past and about
the future. You don’t have to pay attention to these thoughts; just acknowledge them and push them away with a
replacement happy thought. Programming your mind is like programming your computer; spam always pops up, but
you don’t have to accept them all, click cancel. Today is the only day you have any control of so don’t throw it away
each and every day by festering over the past and worrying about the future. All living creatures are born with the stress
response; the fight or flight syndrome when we are in danger, feel fear or are confronted with a physical or verbal
battle. Your way of dealing with life is not something you chose, but rather who you became by default. You emulate
what you saw your parents and family do as children and it became the only thing you knew. The problem is that your
now habitual way of dealing with life is often not in your best interest.
You are an adult now so take a look at yourself and decide how you want this to play out. Look at the parts of your
personality you love; encourage growth in those areas. Then look at the parts of yourself you might like to change. You
can certainly change aspects of yourself if you really want to. Some people have anger issues, some have a victim
mentally and others avoid. That does not get the desired result and is self-defeating. These habits can steal your
happiness, but if you want to change something, first take notice of it. Humans tend to get comfortable with their
discomfort. In order to be happy and change something, notice your defense mechanisms; how do you deal with
negative interactions, not feeling loved or appreciated or people being nasty to you? We are very egocentric as a species
because we tend to think everyone thinks the way we do. The fact is that one situation can present as many perceptions
as there are people. It is easy when everyone sees things the same way, but that is not realistic. Learning how to
effectively communicate is a big part of being an adult. It is very important to tell others what is going on inside you,
don’t keep things bottled up until there is no more room and you explode! If you just say what you have to say, nicely
then you are done with it and there is room inside for more. Also, the other person learned something about you they
may not have known. In relationships we expect our partner to show us love the way we show them love. Some people
feel loved when they hear the words I love you, some need gifts to feel loved and others need to feel it with hugs and
cuddling. What if one person needs to hear it and the other is a gift giver? Both people may love each other, but neither
will feel it to the extent they wish. This is why communication is so important. We cannot read each other’s minds and
it is foolish to think he/she should know what it takes to make me happy. We should not take things so personally; each
of us is having a very different experience every day, taking with us all that has happened since we were born. Our
experiences are all different, therefore, our thoughts are different and our perception of situations is different. We tend
to take things personally, when generally things have nothing to do with us. Keep it simple; say what you have to say,
enjoy today, don’t take things so personally and most important is to trust your inner voice.
Nina Mistier is a Holistic Counselor, Yoga Instructor, College Instructor and mother who holds a Master of Science degree in
Counseling Supervision, Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Yoga Certification, studies Energy Psychology, Positive Psychology,
Nutritional Studies and Holistic Healing.