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| The New York Optimist |
"Nina Mistier"
Love Yourself!
Love Yourself!
“Love Yourself!”
The world is saddened by the death of Michael Jackson, one of the greatest entertainment icons that had graced the earth. The
saddest part is not his passing, but the pain he suffered while he was here. Though he was adored from afar by millions, it
seemed obvious that he did not love or approve of himself. If he had, he would not have changed his physical being so
drastically throughout the years.
Each and every one of us is a unique and special individual. Every individual has something important to contribute to the
world. It may feel as though nobody knows who you really are at times, but that is just your mind feeding you lies that you may
have taken in through your lifetime. When adults tell children they never do anything right or why they should be like so and so
over and over again, the child takes that to mean he or she is not good enough; this is the habitual thought that is being created,
the negative software in the brain that is our personal computer. Though parents and teachers are usually well meaning they do
not realize the negative impact these harsh words could have on an entire lifespan. Some people believe in the tough love
philosophy; that if they are harsh, disapproving and withholding of love, you will do what they say. This is really emotional
manipulation and emotional blackmail, whether conscious or unconscious. If this was your experience as a child, then chances
are you will seek out adult relationships that provide the same feeling, albeit a negative one. This is what the mind does because it
is trained in this way; it seeks out experiences that provide the comfort of what it knows, whether that is good or bad. This is
why many people go from one bad relationship to another; it is not the other person that needs to change it is you.
Here is the good news! You can begin to change the negative self-talk and create a new software program with positive and
happy self-talk. Focus on your strengths, notice what your friends and family say about you; are you a great listener, are you
really perceptive, do you make people feel special, are you a good cook, are you always on time? It takes the same amount of
energy to be miserable as it does to be happy and fight the misery; choose which you want to feed. Whatever you feed becomes
stronger!
Once you understand how this works, you can choose to accept it as it is or change it. You can always begin change by first
paying attention to your feelings in situations and notice how you react. Your immediate response to a trigger is your information
about the programming you’ve received. Now that you are aware of what it is, you can begin to change it because you choose
to. Making a decision to do something different is a big step forward to creating that change. After that, it is practice, practice,
practice. You will be confronted with situations all the time that offer you the opportunity to change. Each time you notice your
reaction, change it to a better feeling. Every time you practice this, you will get stronger and change the programming in your
brain. After 21 consecutive days of this work, it will become more natural for you to react in a more positive way.
Remember, you are undoing many, many years of programming, so be patient. Do not get angry with yourself for not changing
quickly enough. Be gentle with yourself as you would with your own child. If you knew your child was working hard to
change a difficult and negative habit, you would be supportive and proud and help in any way you could. Well treat yourself in
the same way, you are just as important! Get excited about the new and wonderful feelings you will hold every day. These
feelings of excitement and joy will bring more positive feelings into your life and change many things. It has a snowball effect.
Love yourself and know that you are supposed to be here! Look for your positive qualities and expand on them, focus on your
strengths and don’t give your energy away to weaknesses. Our time here is to learn and it passes quickly; enjoy it!
Nina Mistier is a Holistic Counselor, College Instructor, Yoga Instructor and Mother who holds a Master’s degree in Counseling
Supervision and Counseling Psychology, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, Yoga Certification and studies Energy Psychology,
Positive Psychology, holistic healing and nutrition.
June 27, 2009
The world is saddened by the death of Michael Jackson, one of the greatest entertainment icons that had graced the earth. The
saddest part is not his passing, but the pain he suffered while he was here. Though he was adored from afar by millions, it
seemed obvious that he did not love or approve of himself. If he had, he would not have changed his physical being so
drastically throughout the years.
Each and every one of us is a unique and special individual. Every individual has something important to contribute to the
world. It may feel as though nobody knows who you really are at times, but that is just your mind feeding you lies that you may
have taken in through your lifetime. When adults tell children they never do anything right or why they should be like so and so
over and over again, the child takes that to mean he or she is not good enough; this is the habitual thought that is being created,
the negative software in the brain that is our personal computer. Though parents and teachers are usually well meaning they do
not realize the negative impact these harsh words could have on an entire lifespan. Some people believe in the tough love
philosophy; that if they are harsh, disapproving and withholding of love, you will do what they say. This is really emotional
manipulation and emotional blackmail, whether conscious or unconscious. If this was your experience as a child, then chances
are you will seek out adult relationships that provide the same feeling, albeit a negative one. This is what the mind does because it
is trained in this way; it seeks out experiences that provide the comfort of what it knows, whether that is good or bad. This is
why many people go from one bad relationship to another; it is not the other person that needs to change it is you.
Here is the good news! You can begin to change the negative self-talk and create a new software program with positive and
happy self-talk. Focus on your strengths, notice what your friends and family say about you; are you a great listener, are you
really perceptive, do you make people feel special, are you a good cook, are you always on time? It takes the same amount of
energy to be miserable as it does to be happy and fight the misery; choose which you want to feed. Whatever you feed becomes
stronger!
Once you understand how this works, you can choose to accept it as it is or change it. You can always begin change by first
paying attention to your feelings in situations and notice how you react. Your immediate response to a trigger is your information
about the programming you’ve received. Now that you are aware of what it is, you can begin to change it because you choose
to. Making a decision to do something different is a big step forward to creating that change. After that, it is practice, practice,
practice. You will be confronted with situations all the time that offer you the opportunity to change. Each time you notice your
reaction, change it to a better feeling. Every time you practice this, you will get stronger and change the programming in your
brain. After 21 consecutive days of this work, it will become more natural for you to react in a more positive way.
Remember, you are undoing many, many years of programming, so be patient. Do not get angry with yourself for not changing
quickly enough. Be gentle with yourself as you would with your own child. If you knew your child was working hard to
change a difficult and negative habit, you would be supportive and proud and help in any way you could. Well treat yourself in
the same way, you are just as important! Get excited about the new and wonderful feelings you will hold every day. These
feelings of excitement and joy will bring more positive feelings into your life and change many things. It has a snowball effect.
Love yourself and know that you are supposed to be here! Look for your positive qualities and expand on them, focus on your
strengths and don’t give your energy away to weaknesses. Our time here is to learn and it passes quickly; enjoy it!
Nina Mistier is a Holistic Counselor, College Instructor, Yoga Instructor and Mother who holds a Master’s degree in Counseling
Supervision and Counseling Psychology, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, Yoga Certification and studies Energy Psychology,
Positive Psychology, holistic healing and nutrition.
June 27, 2009
